I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize