Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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