This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
