i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
smell my finger.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
