I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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