Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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