You're completely useless in the revolution.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
