The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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