Nicole vs. Life
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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