so that wasnt chicken after all
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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