I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize