Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
