Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
