I'm really into asian looking animals
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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