Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
