I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
you are never too drunk for berry picking
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
