Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
