so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
