ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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