i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
