4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
