i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
