My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
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