i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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