You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
