the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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