Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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