She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
