mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
