she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
