we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
