My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
