who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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