my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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