Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Someone signed my nipple.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
