The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
you never un-have a 4some
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
