I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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