he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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