is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
