all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
it was like his penis was on wheels.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
