no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
