she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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