He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize