My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
