did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
