lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
