someone owes me an orgasm
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
