Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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