Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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