True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
How external is "for external use only"?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
