you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
