Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
