I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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