on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
