K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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