remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Randomize
