forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
