Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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