Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
