Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize