I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
