I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Panties = found
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
