And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
