So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
