I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
