in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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