Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
