For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
