3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
