my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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